Friday, July 28, 2006
The road less travelled
indeed dental school is the road less travelled.....people who are on it are really mad ass people.....imagine staying in school from 8 am to 5 pm....with a measly one hour lunch break and after 5pm it is not really a written rule to stay back in the lab but you kinda have to cos you have to do shitloads of work.....calling your patients for the next day, prepare all the necessary equipment for the next few patients, doing really what I feel frivalous stuff.....imagine spending about 3 hours doing a diagnostic wax up of several teeth and have it not looked even though you have to prepare for it...... etc....blah.....so if you are lucky or good..you can leave at say 5.30pm? If not you can stay up till 12 in the midnight. However we are suppose to leave the lab at 7pm....if you get caught, the whole class prolly would be banned from the lab. just like how our seniors got banned a year back. School is a bunch of contradictions and a big paradox....
gosh...its so weary....well for you all who do not understand or get the above paragraph, dont be to upset cos it is not really that easy to empathise with dental students.....not that dental students are really being haughty or anything.....it is just so difficult to explain and tiring to rehash it.....when people ask me how is school? I always give a sheepish ok cos its not ok and I don't want to talk about it.....
I really dont want to come across like I need to be pitied.....cos I don't need to be but I hate school.....I hate it with a passion....never once I hated someone or something.....never in my life.............I hate the high stress environment every single minute, I hate the things I am doing now, I hate the fact that my graduation cannot be controlled by my own hands, I hate the "indepedent" learning aspect of school, I hate the competency test system, I hate that my results are dependent on whether the doctors are in a good mood or are they are in their menopausal moods, I hate the fact that I am the lowest lifeform in school. ditto
I feel relieved already.....however there is a glimmer of hope.....attended prof Hsu lecture about dental care for the terminally ill and throughout the lecture I felt so heavy burdened and the video is the beginnning just wrecked me....it was like watching a sappy hollywood movie but this time it was for real....it brought me memories of my late maternal grandmother who suffered a lot before she went back to the Lord....though she was not really considered a terminally ill patient but it was a rough period of time and I had no idea how I was reminded of that period during the lecture....
Prof Hsu is a good person...though he is slightly controversial he earned my respect today and the whole lecture just made me see the world in a different light.....that there are people who are worse of than me and if they can live a happy life, I can too.....you do not need to be a christian to know that and moreover I have God by my side.....all things will turn out good for the glory of God