Tuesday, February 28, 2006

deep thoughts

I have been reading some of my friends blg and either they have lots of things to write about or what they wrote are just really deep and it spurs you on to think.....and for mine it seems what I write is almost superficial....haha....nothing deep......

spent another day in the library.....been mugging there since the start of the study break.....pretty decent place except for some medical students.....tsk tsk.....always making a din and smuggling food in the library.......

every day of studying just basically told me the times I have wasted in the lectures and tutorials.......I just have the habit of shutting off during lectures and tutorials yet appearing attentive....bad bad habit...and it is definitely coming back to haunt me....2 weeks to cramp one whole year of work.....a big feat.....

anyway.......I am somewhat disappointed.....disappointed.....so many years in church and this happened....such a poor reason and shallow rationalisation of the religion...it pains me to hear...

Friday, February 24, 2006

bitches everywhere

Ahhh.....finally the last day of school......was pretty thankful except for the fact that I have to start preparing for the exams soon......I passed my class2 competency today under Dr Lim......Kinda bittersweet though to be leaving the doctors and nurses in clinic 2 and shifting up to what it seems like a warzone in clinc 3...lol...

anyway, there are truly bitches everywhere.....those who don in orange overalls, leaving 5 minutes before the official time off, pretending to be busy, having an extra window in the explorer that says Yahoo!, berating students in front of patients, refusing to work a little more out of their scope and those with pms every other day....

Thursday, February 23, 2006

the game is on

after one day of bitch and whine mode.....I am back on track....ready to fight and be up against any giants in my life......stupid dumb school....you are not worth my emotions.....piss off.....

just finished watching american idol and I just can't stand Paula Abdul's patronising comments......full of phoniness....come on if everyone is all that good the show will be called american idols..... Simon is still the one who tells the truth......and gets booed....stupid dumb audience.....btw....a guy is going to win it this year....hah...I predict....

you know what I am pumped beyond words....

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

there is only so much a person can take

speechless....i am totally speechless.....today was the third strike.....it pains to hear people saying stuff like "I thought I will fail...I did most of the test by guessing." and they pass.....not that I begrudge any of them from passing though.... I knew I had to do something for my oral pathology and to be honest I studied as hard as I could....I seriously did and I failed again.... This I would say is the first time I have failed so many times in my entire life......I feel like I am being punished for something....something which I have no idea what it is...... I am trapped in this place I am in, subjected to all these emotional crap and I have no idea will I walk out victoriously.....

I knew I made a mistake...........a mistake I should have prevented 3 years ago.........this is not fun anymore.....it has never been and it is a mistake through and through......I give respect to every single one who went through dental school unscathed.........you all deserve the title more than anyone else.......and I really really do respect all.......... a pity that I am a mistake in this faculty....a huge walking time bomb......






ok....enough ranting...as much as it is a mistake...I intend to finish the race....to show the "thing" tormenting me that you gotta try harder than that.....

Monday, February 20, 2006

here without you

while Jason Mraz and Kelly Clarkson continue to reign in kenny's list of favourite singers, my favourite rock band is 3 Doors Down...they are actually pretty good I must say.....

March 13 is the start of my exams......mathematically I have only got about 21 days to study shitloads of stuff....and I am seriously dying.....I have only myself to blame.....not paying attention during lectures, bedside tutorials etc..... Now I can only rely on God's supernatural powers.....hehe...... Wish me all the best and keep me in prayers k.....

Sunday, February 19, 2006

johari's window

http://kevan.org/johari?name=kennykenny

this is some self assessment on myself with the help of people around me....just something that yh introduced me to play around with....so do take some time to fill it up k......

birthday wishes

an eventful day.......

though I was late for church, it was a great service....presence of God was so tangible even during the sermon. Pastor Kong taught us about how to forge a good relationship with people around us and it made me wanna be a better person because I do have some lack in some aspects.....

On our way to city hall, I was tapped on my back. I thought it was a friend of mine and I was taken aback when I found out that it was a complete stranger and before I could collect my thoughts, he started a verbal diarrhoea on me, telling me how God is good and his whole job changing fiasco.......well I am not going into any details about that....Haha....But it was the longest ride from Expo to City Hall for me.....QP and Cheryl said I appeared attentive....Hah.....Oh well......But I am impressed that the guy had some faith man...kept on telling me that he will not forget what God had done for him etc....Hah......

Anyway we went to cafe cartel in the end for a time of fellowship.....I am really glad that I was there.......we haven't been sharing much with one another and it was really really nice to talk to friends who genuinely care about you.....Found out some stuff which was really funny.....I was laughing my ass off when I realised the whole cell group including Aunty Lily thought me and Cheryl were together....Haha..I am still tickled now typing this.......so funny......oh well.....

Some of my friends wants me to give them a list of presents for them to buy me for my upcoming birthday
so here it is!

1) I would like a new bag....so that I can give my trusty crumpler some rest during the week.......He has been working for every single day having only off days on sunday......

2) anything A & F........just love the quality of the goods......

3) a really nice pair of leather shoes.....with a little platform...

4) I can't thing of anymore really......let me update when I do give it a serious thought

Cheryl if you are reading this, though sometimes it is hard to forgive, friendships are hard to come by, even more so really close ones......I do not really have the luxury of that and I do wish for you and Justin to reconcile........and on another note...please don't make the same mistake again..k... :)

Saturday, February 18, 2006

it made my day

part of the winning formula of Survivor is their elaborate challenges where they have varied ones from the physical to the mental ones......yesterday's episode truly truly made my day.....it was not only grossly physical but it was a full body contact challenge........almost seems like watching a soft porn bisexual orgy with sitting, choking, kicking, stripping, slam dunking...lol.....they had to blur out a lot of you know what.... It made me laugh and I was on the edge of my seat for that whole episode......

So therefore here is to the challenge creators for making this the best challenge ever in 12 seasons of Survivor....

Friday, February 17, 2006

misdemeanour

sigh....I get irritable really easily recently.....really really irritable.....for example today.....something happened in the morning and it threw me off almost the whole day and went into a mood of insanity......

was pissed pissed pissed! Though a couple of people mentioned that my new psuedoformal pants is nice......that couldn't make my day....in the end had a talk at the end of the day and found out that everything was a misunderstanding......which was good .....but I just had a pissy day today....thankfully Survivor is on this week to calm my nerves and be a couch potato.....my weekly dose of reality TV......hah

nuff said....I am bored of the blogging world ....catch up with you peeps another day....

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

futile effort....

well....today I went to school at 7 frickin am to stuff all the dumb diseases signs symptoms and what not into a tiny brain of mine.......one could imagine....the mouth could possess so much crazy diseases.....Well thankfully we were greeted by Dr Kwa that it was an open book test and it was really doable....I almost did not bring my Neville to school today man..... Thank God...

this week is pretty much hell week for me.....seeing patients for all 5 days....and every session until today was kinda wasted because of me being incompetent.....I felt so tired....tired of everything.......the light at the end of the tunnel is the only thing I am looking for and it seems so distant even though it is only a year away.....

I seriously need a break.....but no....exams are slowly creeping and my last week in school is packed with competencies which I really need to depend on God to carry me through...... A technician in my lab told me that we are a lot more mature than our peers of our same age because we have started to take on so much responsibilities and stress........technically we have started working but just not paid....lol......I am leading a different university life...........pity....

and I am growing white hair like wildfire.....apparently according to Stanley.........this can't be happening!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

cupid's arrow

today is valentine's day..... all the hugs, kisses, flowers, making out....etc...hah....
to me it is yet another day in school .....absolutely no meaning at all....
to all those people who kinda twisted valentine's day into some friendship day are just people who are living in denial....come on embrace singlehood.......what's wrong with being single.......

but on the other hand with each passing valentine's day, I get a little worried about my love life....it hasn't been really filled up with lots of passionate love and crap.....most of what i have in it are short spurts of pseudorelationships.........hah...kinds pathetic....but I am not going to be desperate or anything.......that would just appear terribly.....

i need some love though.....

sometimes i hate myself for not being able to be decisive....you either be a single and embrace it or you find yourself a girlfriend and start believing for your future with her.....

Sunday, February 12, 2006

forget me not

alright......I have just came back from a musical play directed by the one and only Cheryl Chan even though I should have spent my sunday mugging for my upcoming tests and exams....Cheryl you owe me a biggie for my support man.....

I didn't enter the theater with much anticipation though cos the director herself told me not to expect much....hah..but I did like the way they introduce the cast and crew with their old school uniforms...kinda neat......

well in the end the whole show was a little tad long....but it did deliver......story line was very channel 8........simple yet meaningful.......and the cast performance was pretty decent....I had a little crush on Layla's sister....lol... The impressive thing about this play was the music....every single song was originally penned and I was really impressed.....just that the music kinda overshadowed the singing....a pity......And the scriptwriter is just sadistically creative.....man i thought the disease was bad enough......the guy had to die when Layla remembered him......you melodrama sickos........

It was an above par performance put up by NTU hall students.....good work! And now I need to catch up on my oral pathology.....darn.... Cheryl....you have to treat me something this week.........

Friday, February 10, 2006

peacemaker or a listening ear

I have stopped being a peacemaker since secondary school.....prolly because it was a lovey dovey period of time and true it is said that during high stress situations, people tend to let emotions get the better of them.

Just within 2 weeks, I felt like I was back in secondary school, mending relationships for friends and listening to friends over the phone etc.... Being in dental school especially in the last 2 years of it is like a rollercoaster emotional ride. Just the past few weeks are enough to justify the statement. That is why I am adopting the nonchalant method. Sure I would be stressed out and everything but I seriously would not let it affect me as much as it would want me to be..... School is sucking as it is and hell I am not going to shed a tear or waste any of my emotional strength on something like that....

On another different note
To my friend out there......life is not a bed of roses not even for Christians. Learn to lean on God's strength when you are really down and offer to Him a sacrifice of praise. It is seriously not worth missing out on God because of hurts.......

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Remedy (I Won't Worry) by Jason Mraz

I saw fireworks from the freeway and behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
Cause you were born on the fourth of july, freedom ring
now something on the surface it stings
that something on the surface it kind of makes me nervous who says that you deserve this
and what kind of god would serve this? We will cure this dirty old disease
if you've got the poison I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how youre gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I wont worry my life away.
I wont worry my life away.

I heard two men talking on the radio in a cross fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
they were counting down the days to stab the brother in the be right back after this
the unavoidable kiss, where the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast his catastrophy
dance with me, because if you've got the poison, I've got the remedy

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how youre gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I wont worry my life away.
I wont worry my life away.

When I fall in love I take my time
There's no need to hurry when I'm making up my mind
You can turn off the sun but I'm still gonna shine and I'll tell you why
Because

the remedy is the experience. It is a dangerous liaison
I say the comedy is that its serious. Which is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend the rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends because it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I wont worry my life away.
I wont worry my life away.
I wont and I wont and I wont etc.

A fitting song for what is going to be a torturous 1 month plus left of school...all the tests and exams and the competencies.....one would wonder how multitasking it is going to be.... Anyway, it is alright guess.....Just put God first and do my best!

Yesterday at service, we had a mini Delirious? concert and it was simply amazing.....though I wasn't in the mood for loud praise and worship, it was really good. Martin Smith - the lead vocal and guitarist had awesome stage presence and the presence of God was everywhere. It was really really cool.......and the music was top notch......I would say that they are the best christian contemporary band to date.....could give some secular bands a run for their money too...lol....

Until Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera come up with their new albums, Jason Mraz and Kelly Clarkson will continue to reign in the list of Kenny's favourite singers......

Thursday, February 02, 2006

battle of the titans

Cyclops

alas.....the final 2 xmen.....Wolverine and Cyclops.......one with the long claws the other with no vision.....who would win the battle......In the battle of the comics and the gaming scene, Cyclops will beat Wolverine hands down.....come on that guy is the leader of the pact.....Wolverine is just a rebel......But in the battle of Hollywood, Wolverine wil be victorious just because Hugh Jackman is a bigger name than James Marsden..... dumb ass........he can shoot his optic blast before you can reach him...... I am just bias...ha

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

i almost forgot the feeling of passing

Jean Grey

Storm